About Author: Dr. Joe DeAngelis is a renowned psychologist, consultant, and author with a Master’s Degree in Psychology. He serves as the Managing Partner of South Shore Behavioral Partners, a global consulting firm specializing in executive, team, and sales force assessment and transformation. With decades of experience helping leaders and organizations navigate complex human dynamics, Dr. DeAngelis brings both clinical insight and business acumen to his work.
He is the co-author of Here to Hi-Po: An Insider’s Guide to High Potential (2015) and Unlocking Growth through Stakeholder Management – Harnessing the Power of People (2023), along with numerous influential articles and audio programs on performance and leadership psychology.
His forthcoming book, Collisions: Surviving the Wounds of Relationships, published by Punctuate Press (January release), explores what really happens beneath the surface when human desires, expectations, and motivations clash. Unlike most books on conflict resolution that focus on behavior management, Collisions dives deeper—into the hidden motivational drivers that fuel interpersonal friction. Drawing on the metaphor of “The Wizard behind the Curtain,” Dr. DeAngelis offers readers a transformative framework to understand and heal from the unseen forces shaping their relationships
1. If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?
Grounded, Candid, Devoted
2. Can you share a bit about your early journey, what drew you to psychology and later into executive and organizational consulting?
I grew up an only child, so relationships became deeply important to me early on—perhaps why I created an imaginary friend named Doey Yukon, who was always there to listen. That curiosity about people and connection naturally led me to psychology. Later, my father-in-law, a highly successful businessman, opened my eyes to how human behavior drives performance and results. That intersection between business and psychology became my passion. It took me first into corporate human resources, where I could apply both, and ultimately into executive and organizational consulting, where I help leaders and teams understand themselves—and each other—more deeply.
3. You’ve worked extensively with leaders and organizations worldwide. How has that shaped the way you understand human relationships on a personal level?
Working with leaders and organizations around the world has taught me that people are people—regardless of title, culture, or geography. Each person carries a unique worldview shaped by their parents, childhood, education, friends, and the environment they live in. Work is simply one of those environments, another stage where those early influences play out. What I’ve learned is that beneath the professional veneer, we all seek the same things: to be understood, valued, and connected. When leaders recognize that truth, relationships deepen, conflict softens, and real collaboration—and humanity—emerge, both at work and beyond.
4. What inspired you to transition from writing about high potential and organizational growth to focusing on interpersonal conflicts in Collisions?
I kept seeing people running into each other—at work, at home, in families, and even in simple social settings. It became clear that while we talk a lot about growth and performance, many of our struggles come from everyday collisions between people. I wanted to take the same principles that worked for me as a psychologist, consultant, husband, and father and make them accessible to everyone. These fundamentals—understanding motivation, listening with intent, and managing emotion—transcend age, gender, or background. Collisions was my way of helping people navigate those human moments that shape both our relationships and our results.
5. Can you talk about the metaphor of “The Wizard behind the Curtain” and how it became central to this book?
I’ve always loved The Wizard of Oz—though those flying monkeys terrified me as a kid! Over time, I came to appreciate just how rich the film is in symbolism. The yellow brick road represents the journey of self-discovery, while the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion each mirror qualities we need to navigate life—intellect, heart, and courage. The Emerald City stands for power and illusion, and the Wizard himself reveals a deeper truth: what we see isn’t always what’s real. That became central to Collisions. The “Wizard behind the Curtain” symbolizes the gap between how we behave and why we behave that way. It’s the space between our outer actions and inner motivations. When we pull back our own curtain, we begin to understand what truly drives us—and, in turn, understand others with greater empathy and clarity.
6. Many conflict resolution books focus on communication skills or behavior. What made you want to go deeper into hidden motivations?
Most books on conflict focus on communication skills or observable behavior—how to speak, listen, or manage emotions. But over the years, I realized that nothing gets resolved in a lasting way if you only address what’s on the surface. Behavior is simply the outward expression of something deeper: motivation. Motivation drives behavior, and until you understand why someone reacts, defends, or withdraws, you’re only treating symptoms, not causes. That’s the foundation of what I call “The Wizard Effect”—the process of looking behind the curtain to uncover the real forces that drive us. When we explore those hidden motivations—our need for recognition, safety, control, or belonging—we move from managing conflict to truly transforming it. Understanding the “why” behind the “what” is where empathy, growth, and sustainable resolution actually begin.
7. Was there a pivotal personal or professional experience that planted the seed for this book?
Yes, absolutely. Over the past two years, I noticed a dramatic rise in the level of conflict—both in my professional work and in everyday life. People seemed more divided, more reactive, and less able to engage with empathy or curiosity. Environmental pressures, social media, generational divides, and ideological differences were all fueling tension at an intensity I hadn’t seen before. I found myself thinking, “This doesn’t have to be so complicated.” The solutions aren’t buried in academic theory or complex models—they’re rooted in simple, time-tested human principles. That realization planted the seed for Collisions. I wanted to create something accessible—a practical handbook grounded in psychology but written for real people navigating real relationships. If we can return to the basics of understanding motivation and managing emotion, we can begin to bridge those divides, at work and at home.
8. In your consulting practice, do you find leaders and teams struggle with the same underlying interpersonal collisions as individuals in personal relationships?
In most cases, yes. Businesses are cultures unto themselves—with their own norms, belief systems, and unspoken rules. But at the end of the day, people are people. The same emotional dynamics that play out in families or friendships—issues of trust, ego, communication, and unmet needs—also surface in teams and organizations. Titles and strategies may differ, but the collisions are often identical. When leaders understand that organizational conflict is really just human conflict in a business context, they can address the root causes with far greater empathy and effectiveness. The workplace, after all, is simply another human ecosystem.
9. Writing a book on such a sensitive subject must have its challenges. What was the hardest part for you in putting Collisions together?
Yes, it’s definitely a sensitive subject—because it’s deeply personal. Collisions cuts close to the bone. Writing it required me to look honestly at my own experiences with conflict—at home, at work, and within myself. That wasn’t always comfortable. People who know and work with me understand that while I’m empathetic, I’m not in the business of simply making people feel good. I’m in the business of helping them live more productive, fulfilled, and emotionally healthy lives. And sometimes, that means sitting in discomfort and facing truths we’d rather avoid. The hardest part was translating that kind of emotional honesty into something universal—something that helps readers see that pain isn’t punishment, it’s part of the process. Growth and peace don’t come from avoiding collisions—they come from understanding them, learning from them, and walking through them with purpose.
10. How did co-authoring your earlier books influence your approach to this solo project?
Co-authoring my earlier books was like taking flight lessons—valuable, structured, and collaborative. But Collisions felt like that first solo flight, where the controls are entirely in your hands. You quickly realize how much you’ve learned—and how much you still rely on the people who helped you get there. Writing solo doesn’t mean working alone. You still need mentors, sounding boards, and people who know more than you in certain areas. For me, Alicia Wilcox, my editor, has been that person. Her insight, candor, and maturity are remarkable—well beyond her years. She’s helped shape and refine the heart of this book. Collisions wouldn’t exist without her. This project reminded me that even when you’re flying solo, the best journeys are never entirely yours alone—they’re built on the lift of others who believe in what you’re trying to say.
11. What role did research and your clinical/consulting experiences play in shaping the framework presented in Collisions?
Of course, Collisions is grounded in fundamental behavioral and psychological principles—that’s the world I live in. But this isn’t an academic textbook filled with jargon or theory. The language is intentionally simple and human because the subject itself is universal. The book draws heavily from my years of counseling, coaching, and consulting experience—watching people, teams, and leaders unknowingly, and often unwillingly, collide with one another without realizing why. Those real-world observations shaped the framework far more than data or literature ever could. Collisions is meant to be a field guide, not a course syllabus—a practical companion for anyone navigating the messy, unpredictable reality of human relationships. It’s built on the belief that if we can understand what drives us beneath the surface, we can prevent, manage, and even grow from the collisions that inevitably shape our lives and work.
12. Did you discover anything surprising about yourself while writing this book?
What a great question! Yes, writing Collisions was a mirror in many ways. It forced me into deep self-reflection about why things haven’t always been perfect in my own life—as a spouse, a father, a business partner, or a teammate. I began to see how easily we all miss the subtle cues in our relationships, how blind we can be to our own role in conflict. The most surprising discovery was that the solutions—the yellow brick road, so to speak—were right in front of me the entire time. I just needed to slow down, pay attention, and follow the signs. That’s really the essence of the book: learning to recognize what’s already there, hidden in plain sight, guiding us toward understanding, connection, and growth.
13. How do you balance the roles of psychologist, consultant, and writer? Do they complement each other or sometimes compete?
They definitely compete! Balancing the roles of coach, consultant, and writer can feel like juggling three demanding but deeply fulfilling callings. Each one requires a different kind of focus—coaching demands empathy and presence, consulting requires structure and strategy, and writing asks for reflection and solitude. But here’s the truth: I couldn’t write what I write or speak to audiences with any authenticity if I weren’t doing the work every day. The stories, insights, and lessons that fill my pages come directly from the people and organizations I’m privileged to work with.
Many people talk about their employment or “jobs,” but I can honestly say that for the past 15 or 20 years, I haven’t felt like I’ve had a job. I’ve had relationships, challenges, and shared journeys with people I genuinely care about, doing work that I love. The roles may compete for my time, but they absolutely complement one another in purpose—and that makes all the difference.
14. What do you hope readers will take away after finishing Collisions?
I hope readers come away from Collisions with an expanded relationship toolkit—one that helps them better understand themselves and others in every area of life. I want them to see a clear pathway toward a more productive, loving, and transparent way of living, both personally and professionally. My goal is for readers to feel more competent and confident in how they navigate their relationships and make decisions. Conflict is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. If Collisions helps people replace reactivity with reflection, fear with curiosity, and tension with understanding, then I’ll feel I’ve done something meaningful with this work.
15. If someone is in the middle of a painful relationship conflict right now, what is the very first step you would encourage them to take?
The very first step is to pause—step back from the heat of the moment and resist the urge to keep engaging. Give yourself space to breathe and reflect before reacting. Ask yourself questions like, What does it feel like to be in this relationship right now? What am I really trying to protect or achieve? What might the other person be feeling or fearing? That simple act of reflection begins to shift you from reaction to understanding. Conflict often escalates because we move too fast. Slowing down allows clarity, empathy, and perspective—the foundation for any meaningful resolution.
16. Who are the thinkers, writers, or psychologists who have influenced your perspective most strongly?
In graduate school, I was a behaviorist at heart—B.F. Skinner was my hero. Operant conditioning just made sense to me: it was practical, logical, and measurable. But as I gained more life experience, my perspective broadened. I began to appreciate thinkers like Abraham Maslow and Carl Jung, who explored the deeper layers of human motivation and meaning. Their work helped me see that people aren’t just shaped by reinforcement—they’re driven by purpose, belonging, and self-understanding. More recently, writers like Brené Brown and Simon Sinek have influenced my thinking about vulnerability, leadership, and connection. Each shaped how I approach people and conflict today.
17. What was your daily writing process like for this book structured or spontaneous?
The idea for Collisions actually came to me about eight years ago, but I didn’t give it real structure until about eighteen months ago. Once I began organizing my toolkit and insights from years of client work, the framework started to take shape. I shared it with my editor, who immediately saw the potential, and from there, the process gained momentum. We refined, wrote, and “baked” the book over about six months. So while the inspiration was long-standing, the actual writing was structured, intentional, and very collaborative—equal parts discipline, reflection, and the occasional burst of spontaneous insight.
18. Outside of work and writing, what helps you recharge and find balance?
We are blessed to have a summer house on a beautiful lake in western Maine—it’s like living inside a picture postcard. It’s simple, a bit rural, but absolutely perfect. For more than twenty-five years, it’s been a place for my wife, Kim, and our family to retreat, recharge, and reconnect. There’s something about the stillness of the water and the rhythm of nature that resets everything for me. No deadlines, no noise—just quiet reflection, family, and perspective. It reminds me what truly matters and helps me return to my work with clarity and gratitude. There’s really no place like it.
19. Do you see yourself writing more books in the future? If yes, any directions you’re already exploring?
I think there’s definitely another book on the horizon. Over the years, I’ve worked with so many remarkable leaders—people who consistently deliver extraordinary results for shareholders, employees, and customers—but who remain virtually unknown outside their organizations. They’re not on magazine covers or speaking circuits, yet they lead with purpose, humility, and quiet excellence. What fascinates me is how they win—not through charisma or visibility, but through consistency, values, and a deep understanding of people. These leaders exist everywhere: in startups, early-stage ventures, nonprofits, and large global companies. They’re the “leaders next door,” shaping cultures and driving performance in ways that often go unnoticed. I’m considering writing a book that captures their stories and insights through a series of in-depth interviews—giving readers a look into the real-world practices of extraordinary but unsung leaders. It feels like a natural next step, both as a tribute and as a learning guide for others.
20. Finally, what does success as an author look like for you, impact, reach, or something more personal?
For me, success as an author isn’t measured in sales or recognition—it’s about reach and resonance. Writing Collisions wasn’t about creating a financial engine; it was about sharing what I’ve learned through my own experiences and the work I’ve done with others. If the book helps people see themselves and their relationships differently—if it gives them a way to navigate conflict with a bit more grace, understanding, and confidence—then that’s success. Writing gives me the opportunity to expand my reach and, in some small way, add value to people’s lives. That sense of contribution, of helping others grow or find clarity, provides a deep personal satisfaction that no metric can really capture. It’s about connection, not commerce—and that’s what keeps me writing.
If you’ve ever wondered why people collide—and how to grow through it, this book is a must-read.
Preorder or purchase your copy now at: https://shop.punctuatemedia.com/products/collisions
We believe in sharing knowledge with everyone and making a positive change in society through our work and contributions. If you are interested in joining us, please check our ‘About’ page for more information