The paper explores how ageing affects people by analyzing modern kinship changes together with decreasing filial piety levels and senior population emotional health. The process of ageing which started within joint families and reciprocal intergenerational relationships now faces modification due to individualistic trends together with population mobility and contemporary lifestyle choices. Through academic research and first-person fieldwork the paper explains how elderly people handle transforming social hierarchies while experiencing social seclusion and diminished control. The research investigates how the author’s grandmother manages the conflicting forces of tradition-based opposition and environmental transformation.
Keywords: Ageing, Filial piety, Kinship, Intergenerational reciprocity, Family dynamics, Social change.
Introduction
Ageing as a biological phenomenon means to grow older which is generally linked to their decreased productivity. However, gerentologists and many social scientists have explored the sociological aspect of ageing. The sociological dimension includes the elderly experiences about how they cope up with the societal changes and changing power dynamics in the family. Ageing comes with the illness, anxiety and insecurity of uncertainty of the future. Paromita Chakravarti and Kaustav Bakshi discuss how we all got haunted by the fear and anxieties of isolation and death during covid times and experienced the rhythm of the lives of old people (Chakravarti & Bakshi, 2024, p.3). Changing socio-economic dynamics of society in the contemporary world has resulted in difficulty for older generations to catch up with this modern world. This new dimension can be seen in a bollywood movie “Baghban” in which the elder couple is abandoned by the child depicting lack of emotional support by children and crisis of filial piety. The sons’ decision to rotate their parents between homes instead of providing stable support emphasises the fragmentation of traditional family roles. This shift reflects a sociological trend where individualism increasingly supersedes collective family responsibilities, leading to feelings of isolation among the elderly. Elders feel their authority and roles snatched away from them which gives them the feeling of being a burden on their children.
This new type of ageing is different from the previous notion of growing old in multigenerational homes. Many gerontologists have observed that there is a decline in prevalence of joint families in India among middle classes that accounts for increasing cases of abandoning old parents. Often children settle in foreign countries while their parents are left behind in this process and suffer from loneliness. Even if some children take their parents along with them to other countries, these old people still suffer to adapt to this new way of living which is very different to what they have ever thought of. India has seen a surge in old age homes recently. Due to macro processes like globalization, transnational migration and dissemination of ideas, the world is becoming a more modern space with new institutions of extra family ageing. This notion of distancing kinship relationships from the idea of care giving and reciprocity to the aged people of family is discussed. This is seen as a collapse of traditional Indian values that supports caring and respecting elders(Lamb,2009).
In hindu society, there is a vedic concept of ageing in forest i.e vanaprastha which lamb also notes. This is one of the four stages of life that lays down the ideal way of living according to age. So, according to that, in old ages, elders must renounce all kinds of materialistic pleasures, comforts and relationships. Elders must detach themselves from these worldly affairs and live as a sanyasi with a mind focused on god. Old age homes actually provide a place for old people to detach from worldly affairs and practice spirituality (Lamb, 2009, p.39-40).
In this essay, the dimension of filial piety, reciprocity and emotional needs is covered that shows how changing kinship relationships changes these dimensions while affecting the experiences of ageing.
Filial piety, reciprocity notion and emotional needs
Filial piety is the range of obligations and responsibilities that children owe to their parents. Caregiving, emotional support and respect are some of the important aspects of filial piety. These obligations can differ in material aspects in various societies. However, the idea of reciprocity behind this remains generally the same. Due to increase in individual autonomy and changing family dynamics, the concept of filial piety is seen in crisis. In India, a similar concept is ‘seva’, where taking care of elders is said to be a ‘good karma’ and attached to the notion of spirituality.
In joint families, filial piety is more strong and younger members of family take care of elder members. There is a prevalence of traditional values like moral duty towards elders. Property and inheritance are a part of this reciprocity which motivates the children to serve their elders in order to get material benefits. However, this system collapses when the children do not get benefits anymore (Lamb, 2009, p.32-35).
In his fieldwork study of Xiajia village in China, Yunxiang yan also discusses changes in family relations and ideologies due to change in political structures. Increase in youth, autonomy, decline in parental power, rise of young women in family politics, free choice in spouse, selection, and individual decisions are some of the aspects that saw the changes. Yan criticises the exaggeration of the corporate model of Chinese family structure while highlighting the increasing private space in individual life. By the 1990s, the living conditions of some elderly parents had worsened. Due to youth autonomy, young couples started demanding their share and leaving their parents home soon. He notes the Concept of ‘empty nest family’. Declining filial commitment is also highlighted by Merril Silverstein and Roseann Giarrusso when they talk about the changing socio economic structures. However, they present an important positive note that in many situations, grandparents are support providers and caregivers to their grandchildren while their children may handle their professional obligations.
Field work: my grandmother’s journey as an empowered women
While discussing the question of ‘what has this changing society have done to family structure and ageing patterns?’ with my grandmother, many dimensions of ageing came out.
Our family belongs from haryana, but surprisingly the head of family who dominates all the decisions is not a male. My grandmother who is now the head of my family has always been a bold lady. After her marriage, She shifted to Delhi along with my grandfather leaving behind their in-laws. When I asked about how her decision impacted her in laws and their ageing in village without daughter in law to take care, she replies
“Initially, we cannot afford to take her along in this city but later when we got settled here, she did not agree to come. She doesn’t want to change her lifestyle at that age. She has friends of her age there and the village life is very different from what we live in these cities. Even when we take her along sometimes, she keeps on insisting to go back to the village where she has been living for so many decades. She feels alienated here.”
This expression of my grandmother highlights the kind of cosmopolitan families that Sara lamb talks about. The elderly suffer even if they come with their children to foreign lands and have to adjust to this new environment. They feel confused and trapped in the dilemma of modernity and traditional values. However, contrary to this type of ageing, my grandparents live with us in a joint family. My grandmother plays an authoritative role and my mother takes care of her due to her illness. As joint families usually suffer from the problem of too much power in elders, so does our family. Children have negligible autonomy and have to respect the orders of our grandmother. She has all assets on her side. While talking about her thinking about ageing in this world she says:
“These days, I see everywhere children leave their parents in old age homes, or different apartments but I have not given these ‘sanskars’ (values) to my children. My children knows the importance of elders as a source of guidance and appreciate our efforts that have made them capable today. All this property has been made by my efforts and you should be thankful to god that you got me as grandmother.”
Another aspect of ageing is inheritance and property. My grandmother, while discussing what she has done for our family, often talks about the property she has on her name. She often threatens to disown from all inheritance papers whenever she gets in an argument with any of the family member. This strategy of using property in order to get authority and respect in all decisions is her individual coping aspect of ageing. Ageing comes with insecurity and fear which makes elderly people prone to changing roles and authority.
Conclusion
With the changing societal patterns and prevalent norms, the way of ageing and the working of kinship relationships around it, have changed a lot. Adopting the modernised way of living, the children leave behind their old parents as isolated and marginalised. Elderly people struggle to cope up with the new values and their changing roles. The crisis of filial piety is seen which distances the biological kinship from reciprocity and caregiving.
References
Bakshi, K., & Chakravarti, P. (2024). Cultures of ageing and ageism in India. In Routledge eBooks.
Lamb, S. E. (2009). Aging and the Indian diaspora: cosmopolitan families in India and abroad. http://ci.nii.ac.jp/ncid/BA90983338
Silverstein M, Giarrusso R. (2010). Aging and family life: A decade review. In J Marriage Fam, 72(5), 1039-58.
Yan, Y. (2003). Private life under socialism: love, intimacy, and family change in a Chinese village, 1949-1999. Stanford University Press.
I’m Nikita and im currently doing masters in sociology from Delhi school of Economics.